i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
