I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
