there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize