yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize