Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
