And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
