YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize