you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
