1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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