you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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