U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
