Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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