so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
