the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
