You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just tell him i said nine months
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
