He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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