Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
