I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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