I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
