You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So many bounce houses so little time
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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