his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
