im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
