i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
