but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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