Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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