In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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