Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
