I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
