i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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