I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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