My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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