he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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