i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
