just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
