If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I will pee on everything he values.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize