Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
