i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
