I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
