big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
