I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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