I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
