Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
