Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
