They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
