Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
