So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
