quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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