Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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