I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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