Your tits are I can't wait for
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
