I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you never un-have a 4some
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
