Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
