I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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