Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've blown a few things in my day
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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