it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
