I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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