i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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