dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
