I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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