Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
