No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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