I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize