How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
