North Korea, Best Korea!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
